Post by mel on Apr 28, 2013 15:51:58 GMT -5
I hate that I can be on what seems like a zillion meds and still have bad days. I'm having one today. I feel worthless, weak, ugly and at a loss on how to feel better. A downside to being on depression meds is weight gain. I've gained about 20 lbs in the last few months and I just feel too tired and unimaginative to eat right and exercise, which would do me a world of good, I know. I'm about ready to tell my doctor to shove his medicines, hypnosis and theories up his a$$. I could have gone to church today with my family, but I'm so tired and angry with a god who makes my mind work this way. I don't look forward to work this week because it's just that--work. Tedious and boring, at best, my job barely pays my bills and it's even an effort to be thankful that I HAVE a job when others are struggling. I try not to complain to anyone about my feelings. What can anyone do, anyway? I have it good compared to others. Why am I complaining about not feeling well mentally? I think there may be a med change in my near future which makes me fear more mood swings and more letting my family down by being a zombie couch potato day in and day out. 
